I took a little trip down “memory lane” yesterday. Since I moved out of my parents’ house nearly six years ago, my old bedroom has gradually turned into my dad’s office. My mom, who barely uses the room, has been on my back about going through certain things to thin out the clutter and make room for… more of my dad’s crap, I guess. Nevertheless, I thought I’d begin what will be a lengthy, but rewarding process. While cleaning out shelves full of old notebooks from grade school through undergrad, I discovered some literary GEMS. Here, I share with you some of the highlights (bad grammar, ALL CAPS, and misspellings included):
8th Grade History Notes
On Richard Nixon’s VP Choice:
“His VP – Spiro Agnew – Nixon’s ‘hatchet man’ Picked on anyone who were hippes.”
On President Gerald Ford’s wife:
“…his wife Betty – 1. Had cancer, 2. Addicted to pain killers, 3. ALCOHOLIC!!!! She took care of it. She founded the Betty Ford Clinic.”
On the construction of the St. Louis Gateway Arch, in which I argue with AND contradict myself:
“Construction started in the late ‘50s. 100s of tons of concrete. First death—tearing out an elevator a man got his arm cut off. 13 would die. –NOBODY DIED BUILDING IT.”
From a Research Paper on Racism, in which I don’t mince words about former Cincinnati Reds Owner Marge Schott:
“Marge Schott called those baseball players the 'n word' because she is a bigoted nazi.”
Student Teaching Journal
In addition to all the class notes, I discovered an old journal from my undergraduate student teaching experience. We were encouraged (but not required) to write in it daily about our experience. I kept at it for a whopping THREE WEEKS…probably a testament to how much I’d mentally checked out of the whole experience later in the semester.
On leading choruses at Quincy Junior and Senior High School:
Today at the Junior High was rather uneventful. I basically patrolled the room while the boys worked on a skit with their own group. I have no idea what skits have to do with choral music, but Kathi Dooley must think it’s important. It was the same old crap at the High School today, though Paul Shelor had me teaching part of a piece with Mixed Chorus. This group really challenges my patience at every turn. It makes teaching them the music so difficult and asinine. Someone ought to force these people to visit a prison. It would give them a preview of their life… especially if they don’t shape up and listen to authority and be accountable for their actions.
The entries weren’t all bad. My writing was far more positive on the days I was teaching with Sarah Guilford, a teacher like no other!
Crappy Poetry
Oh! And I even found first drafts of some crappy four-line opera-themed poems that I wrote for Poetry Class at QU:
The Coloratura Soprano
[first line uncompleted] / Soaring through melismas and back / Yet no one takes me seriously / ‘Cause I sound like a birdie on crack
The Dramatic Soprano
She shrieks and screams and shouts / To get up on the boards / She’d be perfect to sing Brünnhilde / But someone should stifle her cords
The Mezzo Soprano
Us mezzos get the saucy roles: / Gypsies and old maids and witches / But we always get upstaged / By those haughty sopranos – those bitches!
Yup...a good chunk of this probably wasn't nearly as funny to you as it was for me...oh well :)
1 comment:
i had an experience similar to this, recently, when dad made me clean part of the basement, filled with my papers from grade school through high school. a favorite? "saturn: a very interesting report."
i was a special child.
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