My Car = KAPUT

My 1999 Ford Taurus is, for all intents and purposes, practically dead. Let’s take a look back at the history of my car.

1999: Phil’s Grandpa purchases it brand new; for next five years, Grandpa only drives it to the Mall, the Grocery Store, the Bank and various eating establishments (Fazoli’s, White Castle and Hardee’s, mostly)—all of which were located in one town.

June 2005: Grandpa stops driving. Mom and Uncle Denny decide to hand the car over to me. It had only 6,000 miles on it (see above driving history). For a used car, it was very new and I was lulled into a false sense of security that it would last me several years.

Summer 2005 – Spring 2006: Utter Car Bliss! Blumen und Sonnenschein! LOLZ!!!

June 2006: Car Radio #1 conks out mysteriously (though an electrical short is more like it). Radio #2 installed...

June 2006: CAR STOLEN!!!!!1!!11!

July 2006: Car discovered in Wellston being joy-ridden at 80 mph down city streets by its thief. Cops catch/prosecute the asshole. Car was repaired fully by August…including installation of Radio #3.

Late 2006 – 2009: All kinds of stuff went wrong. Countless trips to Ford Dealer. Countless radio replacements. Countless dollars thrown at various problems. BURGLARIZATION!!1!!!1!!!

Present: Second heater core busted, etc. The last straw. The final insult.

We’re convinced that the car theft back in 2006 was a major blow to the car’s longevity. It sucks to be virtually car-less until I can find a new one. However, maybe this turn of events is deliverance. Maybe the car seeks an owner with better luck. My friend Jason, knowing enough of the car’s history, recently told me “Phil— that car is just trying to Final Destination itself! You’ve gotta let it go!” And you know what? He was right.

The plans are to figure out how to fix the car without forking over an arm and a leg. Then, we’ll either sell it outright, or work out a trade-in deal. The former is more likely than the latter, but some local dealerships have some decent offers to consider. We’ll have to see.